Coffee and Bacon
There’s nothing better than waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of bacon, then enjoying a steaming heap of the greasy goodness with a hot cup of coffee on the side.
However, we all have busy lives, and we can’t always commit the time and energy necessary to alternate between stuffing bacon in our faces and sipping coffee. Which is why I have invented a time-saving and delicious way to enjoy your whole breakfast in one mug: bacon coffee. You, too, can enjoy this groundbreaking innovation; simply follow these steps:
1. Make some bacon.
2. Add cream and sweetener. Always sweetener. Think of your heart.
3. Add coffee.
4. Enjoy!
This project was a little daunting at first. The world of meat-based coffee additives is, as far as we could tell, completely unexplored. It could have turned out disgusting. But to be honest, it wasn’t. The bacon added a subtle smokey flavour that did not clash at all with the dark roasted coffee. The bacon grease left a beautiful sparkly film on top and gave the coffee a creamier texture than usual.
At the bottom of the mug is a beautiful puddle of bacon-wrapped coffee.
The only problem is that you’re left with a large chunk of bacon sitting there, which makes it hard to drink the last bit. And what do you do with the bacon? While bacon flavoured coffee is quite delicious, coffee flavoured bacon is bland at best. I will continue to research different ways of combining coffee with bacon, such as adding bacon bits in with the coffee grounds, and blended bacon-coffee smoothies, and report back.
See also:
Candied Bacon Coffee Ice Cream
Added Apr 20: Look, an official Bacon Maple Latte!
Coffee Logic: Peanut Butter
Let’s be logical about this.
- Premise 1: Peanut butter tastes good with chocolate.
- Premise 2: Chocolate tastes good with coffee.
- Conclusion: Peanut butter tastes good with coffee.
I put my logic to the test this morning. Here is the recipe: 1 mug of coffee, 1 pack of sweetener (no sugar, thanks, I’m on a diet), and 1 tablespoon of smooth peanut butter. Scoop peanut butter into mug, add cream and sweetener, then slowly stir in boiling hot coffee. Warning: using chunky peanut butter may result in injury.
How did it taste? This may seem surprising, but it was actually very good. The PB gave the coffee a mild nutty flavour, and also made it a bit creamier, presumably due to the “butter” part.
I’m surprised this isn’t more common. There is hazelnut coffee (mmmmm) and almond coffee (mmmmm), so what’s so gross about peanut coffee? Nothing. Mmmmm! And butter? There’s already butter caramel coffee at Tim Horton’s. I’m just putting all this deliciousness together for the benefit of mankind. You’ll see; Starbucks will see this blog and copy my idea, and soon there will be peanut butter coffee wherever there are pretentious people willing to pay too much for it.
One disclaimer, though. When you get to the bottom of the mug, there is a thick sludge of PB that didn’t want to dissolve. It feels like drinking warm snot. So, uh, there might be a few bugs to work out. But hey, the first 90% of the cup? Delicious! Try it!
Putting Weird Things in Coffee 