Café Benedict

Wikipedia tells the story of the origin of eggs Benedict:

In an interview in the “Talk of the Town” column of The New Yorker in 1942, the year before his death, Lemuel Benedict, a retired Wall Street stock broker, claimed that he had wandered into the Waldorf Hotel in 1894 and, hoping to find a cure for his morning hangover, ordered “buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon and a hooker of hollandaise.” Oscar Tschirky, the famed maître d’hôtel, was so impressed with the dish that he put it on the breakfast and luncheon menus but substituted ham and a toasted English muffin for the bacon and toast.

While probably not the true origin, I like this story for several reasons:
1) LOL, “hooker.”
2) It acknowledges eggs Benedict’s proper place as hangover food.

We’ve all been there. Eleven o’clock on a Sunday, head throbbing, stomach churning but oddly hungry, at the closest cheap diner, with a big plate of deep fried potatoes, greasy bacon, and buttery buttery eggs Benedict. Oh, and coffee on the side.

Why not pare this hangover cure down to its core elements? Which are, of course, Hollandaise sauce and coffee.

I just so happen to have some lying around after making this masterpiece:

Oh look on top there, it’s smoked paprika making its second appearance on this blog! Hi smoked paprika!

Anyway, a day later, the sauce doesn’t look quite so smooth and creamy after reheating:

But I’m sure it will come around once it realizes it is meant to be with coffee.

Ok, maybe not.

It’ll need some convincing. I introduce it to the whisk, and that seems to chill it out a bit, save for an oily film on top and a few stray chunky bits. Plus, it feels oddly viscous, resisting every swirl of the whisk. Ah well, in with the rest of the coffee!

Looks pretty good. Nice colour (no cream required, since there’s already a lot in the sauce), and a mesmerizing texture on the surface.

I take a sip.

UNGH! Not good.

It’s thick. Like I’m drinking gravy. It’s so buttery that I feel like I gain a pound with each sip. I love butter as much as anyone (even in coffee), but this is too much slippery goodness. Also, it’s saltier than ocean water.

I’m getting involuntary shivers after taking a few sips.

This could help with a hangover, but only because it forces you to vomit. Stick with drowning eggs and English muffins in Hollondaise sauce; it is not friends with coffee.

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