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Brütal Coffee

May 11, 2011

Let’s take a look at a few coffee creations that will melt your face and make you feel like a real man (even if you are a woman).

First, blogfriend Brian Raymond pointed me to this Satanic coffee from Geekologie:

I can only assume the barista sweetened it with the blood of infants and added the milk of murderous cows for colour, yet still referred to it as black coffee.

Next, in this old post of mine about butter in coffee, a commenter named Nathan linked to this article about HOW TO MAKE YOUR COFFEE BULLETPROOF. Spoiler alert: you put butter in it.

I’ve done this a few times before. Butter Chicken Coffee Minus Chicken was not too shabby, but Cafe Benedict caused involuntary convulsions. This David Asprey fellow recommends unsalted butter, which would probably be bearably delicious.

He also goes a bit further, claiming that this coffee provides “level energy” for 6 hours, “programs the body” to burn fat, and will “make you feel Bulletproof” (yes, with a capital B). These claims seem to come from the “I made this shit up because it sounds cool” school of nutrition rather than, you know, science, but hey, whatever it takes to justify chugging butter. I wouldn’t recommend testing the Bulletproof claim, however. Placebos don’t work so good against bullets.

I’m working on some, um, interesting coffee creations. I will be back to write about them when I have time. By the way, buying stuff from the PWTIC store or leaving a tip, on that sidebar to the right there, would really inspire me to hurry my butt up. Hiiint.


See also: Optimum Biopower Xtreme Coffee.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. May 18, 2011 12:58 am

    The patterns on a cup of cappuccino always drink me crazy. I have seen the heart shape, flower or even celebrity just like Obama. They are quite perfect coffee makers.

  2. Larry permalink
    May 24, 2011 12:18 am

    This is such a unique blog! It can’t be good for me because I need a caffeine diet.

  3. June 10, 2011 6:25 am

    Murder in a coffee cup!! Reminds me of this similar fusion of death and coffee in video form: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC5Z6IsVKqY

  4. June 24, 2011 10:34 pm

    oh, it´s you, that put something in joey ramone´s drink?!?!!

  5. August 25, 2011 4:27 am

    The patterns on a cup of cappuccino always drink me crazy. same you

  6. Kaczus permalink
    February 15, 2012 4:35 pm

    You should read up on the low carb diets if you want to understand the buttered coffee phenomenon. One cup at 9 in the morning keeps me from being hungry until noon or even longer (I don’t usually eat breakfast). The trick is to eat as much fat as you like and as few carbs as you can. Even science is slowly catching up on this. TBH your health will improve, We’ve been fed a sh*t load of lies about “healthy” carbs in the past 20 years or so.
    Great blog by the way 🙂

  7. February 21, 2012 3:38 am

    Thank you sir.

    I thought the low carb diet fad was fading, but I guess it’s still a thing. “Science is slowly catching up” is a red flag right there. I could pull any made-up diet out of my butt and say “science hasn’t caught up yet,” and probably sell plenty of books.

    Until science actually verifies something, it’s just guessing and anecdotes. I’d rather base my diet and health on what we know, rather than on fads, buzz words, and conspiracy theories.

    • Kaczus permalink
      February 21, 2012 10:23 pm

      I said “Science IS slowly catching up.” meaning that many are convinced. It’s just that it’s not everyone yet. Just 4 months ago a trained medical doctor recommended low carb diet to my friend with onset hypothyroid. Yeah, it worked but as you said it’s an anecdote. So let me tell you something more. I see more and more studies popping up that either prove validity of high-fat low-carb diets or fail to disprove it. (a little piece of evidence supporting my point: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19364995) The studies that led to low-fat craze are flawed That’s why I say that “Science is crawling out of the sh*thole it fell into 30-something years ago” when the low fat craze began and problems with obesity skyrocketed. Low carb prevails because it works. High fat diets are used now in treating epilepsy in children, diabetics can easily (depending on the severity of the condition) control it with HFLC – many are able to even get off the insulin injections.
      Oh, one more thing. It’s not a conspiracy. It’s only logical that when you invest enough in something, you tend to defend it more, at least for a while.

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